Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
All hail the Empress!
It's the 9th day of the first lunar month. Time for my parents to pray to ti gong again... Can't help but wonder... Am I going to do all these when I become a parent? Ho ho ho.
But if I'm them, I would pray for harmony in the family first because it is like a cold war is quite a frequent game their eldest daughter loves to play. I would also pray that the eldest daughter would be less like an empress and stop showing her fucked-up face to everyone and think that she is always right. That would make surviving in this home easier.
God knows what tiny little thing pissed her off again. I didn't have to endure this shit when I was in China although I had to tolerate some peeps there. But either they were not living with me or even if they(she) did, I only saw them like a maximum of 2hours a day on the average? And people wonder why I miss the life there!!! Of course I fucking do!
Then she comes demanding from me her discman, which I borrowed eons ago. Fuck. Do I even see her clearing MY space which she took over when I left?!?!??! NO!!!!! I put up a show of looking for her discman. But obviously I couldn't find it! The last time I touched it was like a fucking 2, 3 years ago! And I only have a teeny weeny little cupboard to put my stuff other than my clothes. Where else do I have to look? Want to act also must make the show more realistic mah!
Ho ho ho. There is just one more place. After I left, my stuff was placed in a nice, cheap, little styrofoam box, with HER stuff on top. Of course I'm not going to help her look there.
1) I NEVER gave anyone permission to touch my stuff.
2) She never cleared her fucking stuff off the top of the box. I'm not going to help her move those just to open the box. Besides, if anything is lost, she is sure to blame me again.
3) It didn't help that she is fucking rude.
4) I hate people to demand things from me.
Wait till she treats me better or when I feel like it, then maybe I will help her look for her discman in that tiny box. I just can't find any inspiration to help me move those fucking heavy stuff off the box, especially when they all don't belong to me.
I guess it has always been hard for my friends and family members to fathom why I wanna leave alone, far far away from my family so much. Because it is not easy to live with my family! Yes yes yes. I know. It was never easy and nobody said it was and yada yada yada. I really don't need all this shit. Really. I have heard enough, thought enough, seen enough and felt enough.
And I don't need people telling me I will regret it in future. Really. Shut the fuck up. I never said I hated my family. (Maybe because I never hated anyone before. Honestly. I think that to hate someone is to not even bother about that person, living or dead. Not even gossip about that person or whatsoever.) I like them. They are funny and my mum and aunt are really great cooks. It's just living with them.
It's hard to live in such a small place, small country with a BIG family. 7 people in a 4 room flat. Maybe we should try getting into the Guiness Book of Records. Tolerating is one thing, living with them happily is another. It's quite sad to be suffering at home your whole life isn't it?
So the only solution I see is for me to move out. That way, less friction, less unhappiness. And maybe I will cherish them more. Besides, moving out is not as if I am disowning my parents or anything. Then, I can also live my own life, without having people clear my stuff without my permission, without nagging, without seeing black facers, without playing messenger to anyone, without having to give in all the time just to make the situation better and because some fucking person refuses to compromise. All these stupid things.
Man. Soon, I hope. Really soon.
But if I'm them, I would pray for harmony in the family first because it is like a cold war is quite a frequent game their eldest daughter loves to play. I would also pray that the eldest daughter would be less like an empress and stop showing her fucked-up face to everyone and think that she is always right. That would make surviving in this home easier.
God knows what tiny little thing pissed her off again. I didn't have to endure this shit when I was in China although I had to tolerate some peeps there. But either they were not living with me or even if they(she) did, I only saw them like a maximum of 2hours a day on the average? And people wonder why I miss the life there!!! Of course I fucking do!
Then she comes demanding from me her discman, which I borrowed eons ago. Fuck. Do I even see her clearing MY space which she took over when I left?!?!??! NO!!!!! I put up a show of looking for her discman. But obviously I couldn't find it! The last time I touched it was like a fucking 2, 3 years ago! And I only have a teeny weeny little cupboard to put my stuff other than my clothes. Where else do I have to look? Want to act also must make the show more realistic mah!
Ho ho ho. There is just one more place. After I left, my stuff was placed in a nice, cheap, little styrofoam box, with HER stuff on top. Of course I'm not going to help her look there.
1) I NEVER gave anyone permission to touch my stuff.
2) She never cleared her fucking stuff off the top of the box. I'm not going to help her move those just to open the box. Besides, if anything is lost, she is sure to blame me again.
3) It didn't help that she is fucking rude.
4) I hate people to demand things from me.
Wait till she treats me better or when I feel like it, then maybe I will help her look for her discman in that tiny box. I just can't find any inspiration to help me move those fucking heavy stuff off the box, especially when they all don't belong to me.
I guess it has always been hard for my friends and family members to fathom why I wanna leave alone, far far away from my family so much. Because it is not easy to live with my family! Yes yes yes. I know. It was never easy and nobody said it was and yada yada yada. I really don't need all this shit. Really. I have heard enough, thought enough, seen enough and felt enough.
And I don't need people telling me I will regret it in future. Really. Shut the fuck up. I never said I hated my family. (Maybe because I never hated anyone before. Honestly. I think that to hate someone is to not even bother about that person, living or dead. Not even gossip about that person or whatsoever.) I like them. They are funny and my mum and aunt are really great cooks. It's just living with them.
It's hard to live in such a small place, small country with a BIG family. 7 people in a 4 room flat. Maybe we should try getting into the Guiness Book of Records. Tolerating is one thing, living with them happily is another. It's quite sad to be suffering at home your whole life isn't it?
So the only solution I see is for me to move out. That way, less friction, less unhappiness. And maybe I will cherish them more. Besides, moving out is not as if I am disowning my parents or anything. Then, I can also live my own life, without having people clear my stuff without my permission, without nagging, without seeing black facers, without playing messenger to anyone, without having to give in all the time just to make the situation better and because some fucking person refuses to compromise. All these stupid things.
Man. Soon, I hope. Really soon.
Monday, February 19, 2007
It helps to say sorry...
I've never been really affected by how simple words like: "Sorry," "Thank you," and "Please."
Not until I've been to Hainan Island. It isn't just about being over polite, niminy-piminy or a question of manners. It is about appreciation and redemption.
It's weird how some people find it so difficult to say sorry. Yet, make a mistake so easily. If it is that hard to just apologise for something you did wrong, then don't do it in the first place. Bad temper, strong pride and all other shit are just a pile of excuses to hide your shame.
Even if it's friends. Yeah yeah yeah. Misunderstandings are common and unavoidable. Sometimes, sorry is not needed because we are just so close. But it would really help if "sorry" is said occasionally so that everyone knows that it is felt too. It doesn't hurt to not hear your friend say sorry. It is disappointing to know they just can't bring themselves to do it. Especially if that one sorry is needed to ease some hurt and make things better.
Oh wells... I guess maybe everything is about "Get used to it."
Not until I've been to Hainan Island. It isn't just about being over polite, niminy-piminy or a question of manners. It is about appreciation and redemption.
It's weird how some people find it so difficult to say sorry. Yet, make a mistake so easily. If it is that hard to just apologise for something you did wrong, then don't do it in the first place. Bad temper, strong pride and all other shit are just a pile of excuses to hide your shame.
Even if it's friends. Yeah yeah yeah. Misunderstandings are common and unavoidable. Sometimes, sorry is not needed because we are just so close. But it would really help if "sorry" is said occasionally so that everyone knows that it is felt too. It doesn't hurt to not hear your friend say sorry. It is disappointing to know they just can't bring themselves to do it. Especially if that one sorry is needed to ease some hurt and make things better.
Oh wells... I guess maybe everything is about "Get used to it."
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine's Day!
Oh wells... It's 14th Feb. The big day where all advertizers, commercial execs, marketers and managers have marked in their organizers bazoons of years ago.
I have got nothing much to offer... Unlike in Sec sch days where I would prepare little chocolates and yada yada to give to my friends. Now, I'm too broke and too busy for that. Gotta finish up my little last essay for TP which I manage to procrastinate doing til now when I have to hand it up tomorrow.
Pardon me. All I have is a little sincerity and some sanity to wish all my friends a Happy Valentine's Day.
Credits'>http://www.flickr.com/photos/wilddreams/99757006/">Credits to this guy.
I have got nothing much to offer... Unlike in Sec sch days where I would prepare little chocolates and yada yada to give to my friends. Now, I'm too broke and too busy for that. Gotta finish up my little last essay for TP which I manage to procrastinate doing til now when I have to hand it up tomorrow.
Pardon me. All I have is a little sincerity and some sanity to wish all my friends a Happy Valentine's Day.
Credits'>http://www.flickr.com/photos/wilddreams/99757006/">Credits to this guy.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Er....
I'm going to Genting.
Heh. But only for 1 day! It's actually a job that is very hard to explain so dun ask me for details... Just to inform u guys...
I actually quite like such life. Go here go there. My mum says I'm huey ka flower-leg. Better than being bai ka. Hur Hur Hur.
So... Ti gong bo bi wa an juan dung choo.
Heh. But only for 1 day! It's actually a job that is very hard to explain so dun ask me for details... Just to inform u guys...
I actually quite like such life. Go here go there. My mum says I'm huey ka flower-leg. Better than being bai ka. Hur Hur Hur.
So... Ti gong bo bi wa an juan dung choo.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Funny shit!
If this isn't funny enough............
I am sure this is!
Wonder what is like for the turnip to fuck the rice while the pig neck is burning?
Ho ho ho!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
When it's time to go...
Sometimes when I look at the old people on the streets, I wonder if I will get to live to such an old age. And then I would tell myself, maybe it's better to just die early.
When you're old, immobile, suffering, unappreciated, uncared and unwanted, it just hurts to know that you're living because you just cannot die. Of course, not every elderly feels this way. But it really is sad to see you friends and loved ones leave you one by one isn't it?
And it gets worse when sicknesses hit you one after another and you become dependent on others. That feeling just sucks. You have no choice but to let others help you, yet at the same time, you hope not to cause anybody any trouble.
I just hope that when I leave, I do not become someone else's burden. I wish for it to be a just-close-my-eyes-and-never-open-them-again affair. Peacefully, quietly, so that whatever memories I leave in others' minds, at least it is a happy one.
When you're old, immobile, suffering, unappreciated, uncared and unwanted, it just hurts to know that you're living because you just cannot die. Of course, not every elderly feels this way. But it really is sad to see you friends and loved ones leave you one by one isn't it?
And it gets worse when sicknesses hit you one after another and you become dependent on others. That feeling just sucks. You have no choice but to let others help you, yet at the same time, you hope not to cause anybody any trouble.
I just hope that when I leave, I do not become someone else's burden. I wish for it to be a just-close-my-eyes-and-never-open-them-again affair. Peacefully, quietly, so that whatever memories I leave in others' minds, at least it is a happy one.
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